He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
