Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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