At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
