physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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