My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
