I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
