but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
