Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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