why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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