he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
