idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
