I just cut my nipple shaving
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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