Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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