Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
