She's JV to your varsity
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
