Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
