Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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