I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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