I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
