Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
