I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
All I want is dick and wine.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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