Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
