i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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