90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
