Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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