Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
