Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
