Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
