I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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