the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
