does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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