sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
