i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
