You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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