BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
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