Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
