It's like God shit irony all over that family
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
