this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
