This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
