i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
