break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
