Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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