You're a womanizer and a bitch.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
