I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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