escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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