i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
