The maid of honor just puked.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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