he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
