i may or may not be watching the land before time
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
