As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
