His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
