so explain again why im purple
no
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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